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When I was very young I had basic physical traits and cultural similarity as criteria for a mate (dark hair, christian); a little older and it became more about shared hobbies/nerd identity; after that it became more about life trajectory (thrill/boldness). lately for me tho,

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

my criteria for hubbyhunting is somethin like: 1. very deep self acceptance 2. brave enough to hurt me 3. has one foot in the infinite pain 4. really smart 5. polyamorous 6. into the same freaky sex i'm into 7. similar social power 8. eldritch

5:08 PM · Apr 27, 2022

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im suspicious of my current criteria because my last sets of criteria have kept changing with age, but right now every point feels important. I *don't* fully understand all of what it is I want, and there's definitely other ways incompatibilities can arise that aren't on the list

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Apr 27, 2022

But if i'm evaluating someone for romantic compatibility, i often feel... some boredom? I feel like i'm looking for some kernel of annihilation in them, some little voice in the background screaming in ecstasy that it's ready to die. i want a heavy metal soul.

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Reminds me of a certain Mr. Something, who interviewed you recently lol

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naw he doesn't have #1 or #3 at least

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Why is 7 relevant?

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So despite a large list of criteria, you don't have: -Social Chemistry -Makes you laugh -Tall -Attractive -Kind / Ethical (fairly different) Maybe that stuff isn't important to you. But it is to most women.