i wrote this thing about transness in which i think both sides are wrong
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Just call me the slur you're thinking, it'd be more honest than trying to make your transphobic framing "polite."
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By slur, do you mean the other pronouns? Cause I'm not actually thinking any slurs.
If someone prefers me to address them how I view them, that seems fine to me. Most trans ppl I know have explicitly requested otherwise tho.
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Here's the thing: I don't want you to humor me when I say I'm a woman. I want you to _believe_ me.
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I really genuinely do not have the ability to do that for people who aren't passing. I know some people seem to be able to, but my brain isn't constructed in a way for that capacity. I can believe individual things, like 'you have a female identity' though!
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Oof.
Whether you want to accept it or not, all this right here is transphobic and the sort of thought that leads to the death of many transwomen.
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Trans people are victims of homicide at a lower rate than cis people in the western world. It's safer to be trans than cis, at least by outside violence.