Conversation

i wrote this thing about transness in which i think both sides are wrong

aella.substack.com

The existence of trans people is a lot of things, but happens to also be a spikey thought experiment that jabs at our concepts of identity. “What is a woman?” “Someone who can get pregnant.” “So no...

317

Replying to

Just call me the slur you're thinking, it'd be more honest than trying to make your transphobic framing "polite."

Replying to

By slur, do you mean the other pronouns? Cause I'm not actually thinking any slurs. If someone prefers me to address them how I view them, that seems fine to me. Most trans ppl I know have explicitly requested otherwise tho.

Replying to

Here's the thing: I don't want you to humor me when I say I'm a woman. I want you to _believe_ me.

Replying to

I really genuinely do not have the ability to do that for people who aren't passing. I know some people seem to be able to, but my brain isn't constructed in a way for that capacity. I can believe individual things, like 'you have a female identity' though!

Replying to

Then you should work on overcoming your transphobia rather than publishing essays on why you should humor trans people even though they're "really" something else.

Replying to

I really push back on a world where failing to believe something you want me to believe is transphobia. That's an attempt to coerce my mind, which is *mine*, not yours. You do not have a right to demand me modify my mental state.

Replying to

Here's the thing: the belief that trans people are not telling the truth about their gender is at the root of transphobia. This is the very justification behind all of these attacks on us. Your saying "that doesn't justify the attacks" is not actually helping.

Replying to

and

It is no more helpful than saying "[x] people are actually inferior, but we shouldn't treat them as actually subhuman." It's merely trying to put on airs of progress, not changing the belief that is the very problem.

Replying to

and

I'm not a fucking man, I'm a woman who had the misfortune of putting up with a testosterone-based puberty.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Replying to

@pikhq

I believe you're telling the truth that you have the gender identity of a woman! But the entire point of my article is that this is *insufficient* to be viewed as a woman, as the 'woman' concept has way more things in it than just gender identity.

2:06 AM · Apr 20, 2022

Replying to

and

As in, if I earnestly report to you that I don't in fact have arms, and ask you to believe my that I don't have arms, this feels... kind of absurd. It seems fine to believe that I experience armlessness, and to treat me as though I don't, but i have no right to demand ur belief

Replying to

and

Or; if I report to you that I am a very optimistic person, you might be unable to choose to view me as optimistic (if you've had evidence to the contrary), though you can believe that I believe that I'm optimistic. And it would be insulting to demand that you change your beliefs.

Show replies

Replying to

Honestly, no, the entire point of your article reads as you agree with the people that want to make me go to the men's room and beat me up, but you don't agree that I should be treated quite that harshly, so you have a rationalization about it.

Replying to

Wanna register this isn't actually a response to my point. But also this feels like a pretty big mischaracterization, if you got that from my article it's possible I miscommunicated, or maybe you're misreading.

Show replies