i wrote this thing about transness in which i think both sides are wrong
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Just call me the slur you're thinking, it'd be more honest than trying to make your transphobic framing "polite."
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By slur, do you mean the other pronouns? Cause I'm not actually thinking any slurs.
If someone prefers me to address them how I view them, that seems fine to me. Most trans ppl I know have explicitly requested otherwise tho.
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Here's the thing: I don't want you to humor me when I say I'm a woman. I want you to _believe_ me.
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I really genuinely do not have the ability to do that for people who aren't passing. I know some people seem to be able to, but my brain isn't constructed in a way for that capacity. I can believe individual things, like 'you have a female identity' though!
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Then you should work on overcoming your transphobia rather than publishing essays on why you should humor trans people even though they're "really" something else.
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I really push back on a world where failing to believe something you want me to believe is transphobia. That's an attempt to coerce my mind, which is *mine*, not yours. You do not have a right to demand me modify my mental state.
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Step one is to realize that your brain does have that capacity, and that it grows with conscious exercise like much else. Step two is to realize that it’s not about your brain in the first place. It never was. It’s about someone else’s existence.
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