3. They are completely detached from reality. Like, completely, beyond help. I've had erotomanic stalkers for *years* and rarely mentioned it because I didn't want to give them attention or acknowledgement. Turns out this doesn't matter, they think you're talking to them anyway.
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I talked to a medium-public figure once who had an erotomanic stalker who was *convinced* they were married, and was furious at her for not wearing her wedding ring, and wanted to find and hurt her for being unfaithful. No amount of evidence (like never meeting her) would fix it.
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4. Erotomanic stalkers can bleed onto your entire life. My stalkers read *everything* I post, on all accounts, everywhere, every reply and every like. They also do this for all of my friends, and develop delusions that my friends are talking to them too.
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Some of my friends now have erotomanic stalkers because of me, and that really sucks. If you interact with me online a lot, there's a good chance you've interacted with a stalker of mine who's using an alt account - including long DM conversations.
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Erotomanic stalkers can last a long time. Sometimes they're in spurts, like a few weeks of messages, but sometimes it's years. One guy would send me hour+ long voice messages on the reg, where he'd psychoanalyze me and our relationship, alternate between furious and forgiving.
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Another guy has sent an average of around three messages *every day* on every platform for almost *three years.* I don't read them, when I can't block I have a friend occasionally check to ensure he's not telling me he figured out where I live and is coming to kill me (again)
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Once I announced I was going to be at a public event and a stalker drove cross-state to try to find it. The address was private, but he drove up and down every street in the area trying to find me. Now if publicly announce my presence at an event, I usually bring a bodyguard.
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I recently moved, and received some empty registered mail at my new place, forwarded from my last place. Turns out this sends notification of forwarding address to the sender, and is how stalkers figure out where you've moved to. I didn't even know they'd *had* my last address.
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At times this has been pretty psychologically hard. If I had enough money I could probably buy security measures that take the psychological strain away, but I'm not there yet.
Occasionally it's given me really fascinating points of intense world-altering paranoia.
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Replying to
this is really sweet, but i'm not sure that would work; most of the stuff that would make me feel properly safe are recurring, high expense stuff, like "hiring security to sit outside my house 24/7" and "living in a gated community" or whatever
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There is always a solution ❤️ I'll ask around, and will ping you if I've come up with something...!
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I don’t know if this is an option for you, but one of my friends growing up, their father had reached a level of fame that attracted stalkers.
They had a specially trained security dog for the family.
This might help corroborate potentially stress distorted senses also.
🙏