Some of my friends now have erotomanic stalkers because of me, and that really sucks. If you interact with me online a lot, there's a good chance you've interacted with a stalker of mine who's using an alt account - including long DM conversations.
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Erotomanic stalkers can last a long time. Sometimes they're in spurts, like a few weeks of messages, but sometimes it's years. One guy would send me hour+ long voice messages on the reg, where he'd psychoanalyze me and our relationship, alternate between furious and forgiving.
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Another guy has sent an average of around three messages *every day* on every platform for almost *three years.* I don't read them, when I can't block I have a friend occasionally check to ensure he's not telling me he figured out where I live and is coming to kill me (again)
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Once I announced I was going to be at a public event and a stalker drove cross-state to try to find it. The address was private, but he drove up and down every street in the area trying to find me. Now if publicly announce my presence at an event, I usually bring a bodyguard.
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I recently moved, and received some empty registered mail at my new place, forwarded from my last place. Turns out this sends notification of forwarding address to the sender, and is how stalkers figure out where you've moved to. I didn't even know they'd *had* my last address.
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At times this has been pretty psychologically hard. If I had enough money I could probably buy security measures that take the psychological strain away, but I'm not there yet.
Occasionally it's given me really fascinating points of intense world-altering paranoia.
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Once a stalker somehow got into a really private group where I said vulnerable things, and when I realized he was in it I had a... paranoid episode? or something? where my body had muscle spasms and hyperventilation and I became *convinced* that my stalker was outside my house.
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I've gone through feelings of "this is so unfair" - it's weird to have someone want to kill you based on delusions, when you've never met them and don't know them. It's a *bizarre* sensation! It's surreal! It's like a random nightmare. Why me?? What did I do to deserve this?
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It's also some of the most intense fear I've felt in my adult life. And it's so unlike any other threat! It feels warped, like I'm looking at an image through water; it's hard to judge what the actual risk is and I can't tell if I'm being reasonable or paranoid.
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In general, my attitude with people of ill-intent is to completely ignore them. Don't let on they exist, don't publicly acknowedge you have stalkers
But honestly this is only good advice when dealing with people who have *any* connection to reality at all. These people have none.
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For help, I've reached out to various systems (like the police or domestic abuse people), but *nobody* I've talked to has had experience with erotomanics. I've slightly better luck asking famous ppl how they handle it, but most ppl around my level of fame don't get erotomanics.
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I have taken my own precautions, but I'm not going to list them here. I will say that living in texas helps!
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Local news anchors get a surprising number of them despite not being all that famous, you might try asking them.
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Well it's that ⭐⭐⭐ Michelin vibe with you.
Regardless they need to fall into a pit with short spikes. Short so they don't die right away and can listen to your pre-recorded lecture covering the error of their ways and the, now finally obvious to them, repercussions.
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I think part of the issue (beyond their inherent mental state) is the nature of your work, which exchanges (faux) intimacy for cash. I would bet the sort of performances you engage in that maximize your revenue also increase the risk of these stalkers.
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