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I'm having that classic aging thing happen of not knowing how to find and make friends, really. I feel like I need to be put into the same place as someone else for it to work, but it feels weird to call someone up and be like hey let's hang out 2-3x a week till we're friends ok?

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Social dancing. Preferably swing or Lindy. Keep showing up, you'll make friends.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@ObePraisegod

I have social danced a lot before and didn't really end up making friends from it. Everyone else already had their own friend group!

3:21 PM · Apr 13, 2022

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Ultimately it comes down to being in a circumstance wherein it’s safe for both parties to gradually express more vulnerability. This can be from mutual appreciation (eg drinking/dining club, art group) to collaboration and trustful conflict.

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and

Both parties have to be open to letting their guard down, and—this is important—offering each other an “honest receiving”. Not a performance or a spectacle. Such conditions can occur organically or be created artificially. But both parties must be engaged in good faith.

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I can see that. Different dances, different vibes. Have you tried Lindy, but going out dancing rather than classes? That's when the swing friendships really cemented. People group, coordinating, then grabbing a bite after...

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Group texting*

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The type of dance seems important. I've found contra to work best. It prefilters by being mildly uncool, you dance with everyone so you can meet folks before choosing to dance with them, & it's low floor+low ceiling dance, so you spend more time interacting and less time thinking