I think if I had a reputation as a total slut this might be fine; "oh aella fucked [that person]? nbd she fucks everyone" = great, awesome. But if I don't have that reputation, then suddenly there's Meaning bestowed on who I bang, and there's a whole host of anxiety around that.
Conversation
I don't think this is unique to me, but rather is a common facet of how women work; while men are judged by their quantity, women are judged by their quality; me banging a lame guy is the sexual equivalent to a guy who can't get laid. Do I like this? No, but it's part of me.
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I suspect a good chunk is social conditioning; as in when I'm around communities where orgies and casual sex happen all the time, it's a bit easier for me to feel comfortable having casual sex; i think cause of common acknowledgement that if i fuck u it doesn't mean ur special
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But alas, I am not in orgy communities, and nor am I a slut, at least not lately; i think i've been averaging around one new civvie sexual partner per year for a while. The ambient sexual non-promiscuity of my culture seeping into my bones is really a bummer, man
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i just want a cute dude to hit me up, who just so happens to be into what i'm into, and he's either top tier in my community or literally nobody knows him at all, and he's smart and interesting and good at communication, then he bangs me and leaves, is that too much to ask
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Ok honestly if i bang a guy who is in the "top tier of my community" category there's a good chance i'd be down to date him too, even if it's casual. So probably if I actually want purely casual sex it'll be with a complete unknown rando. Ughhhhh
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i know it's hard for guys to get laid but it's also hard for women to get laid, just via a completely different set of problems. I would very much like to be having more sex than I currently am, it's just that most sex is not good enough to be worth having
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pretty sure
sometimes it takes a professional
kind of funny you've never tried the demand side
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o also i do wanna say u are a good force for 'normalizing casual sex' and i really appreciate that about u, i wish there were like 1000 more ameens
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But there still have to be dudes who will listen to you and bone you the way you want, right?
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