Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
Growing up, my family culture did lots of sharp joking at each other's expense, and if you didn't like it that was *your* problem for being too weak, and you were ruining people's joy. Don't you value a friendly ribbing culture? Isn't it familiar, casual, fun? 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
After I hit adulthood and got exposed to more loving cultures, I realized I didn't actually like the way my family operated; it caused an undercurrent of coldness and defensiveness. In rejecting it, I had to accept 'being weak' and 'ruining joy', in some way. 2/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I kinda feel like I am 'being weak' and 'ruining joy' now for other things; there's a norm of meanness across the internet that feels normal, taken for granted, part of the culture, and it just... feels bad to me. It's subtle and comes from all sides. 3/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Like subtle jokes about thank goodness the people dying from covid are republicans, or saying the harassment of annoying reporters is justified, or literally any joke you wouldn't make at the expense of someone you deeply loved. 4/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I'm down with criticism, in the same way you might criticize someone you deeply loved, where it comes from an attempt to understand them, to genuinely help, wanting their lives to be better. I'm also down with jokes that come from a place of love. But I'm full anti-meanness!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
My tolerance for meanness has gone way, way down. It's most clear in youtube videos, where a narrator puts in little jabs at someone they're talking about. It feels like it hurts me too, I just can't do it.
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Opie 🫠
@karnagraha
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
There is not enough perspective taking in the modern world. My core belief is that very nearly every single person is doing exactly the best they can under their current circumstances. That doesn't mean you can excuse bad behavior, but it does mean you can have compassion.
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AnomalyNine
@An0malyNine
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
It'd be pretty cool if you applied this same process to your views on trans people. Every time I've seen you talk about a trans issue it's... A very uninformed and uncompassionate take.