Which rules do you use to evaluate sexual consent? In my rape survey, I found four main rule spectrums people seemed to fall on when evaluating rapeyness.
(You can be high or low on all of them, or high on just a few)
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1. External motivation - How much motivation for the sex is not about the sex itself (e.g., getting paid, or making a partner happy) vs purely because of horniness? Some people view external motivation as clearly more consent-violatey than others.
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2. Mental capacity - how much are you aware of what you're doing and the implications, going to endorse your actions later on, are of sound mind, sober, etc.? Some people have a lot more leniency for varied mental states, and others only find a narrow range to be consentable.
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3. Conditional consent - how much is consent invalid given conditions are violated? If you consented to sex given that someone is wealthy, or uses condoms, or is of of your preferred gender, how much of a consent violation is it if they don't actually meet those conditions?
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4. Victim mentality - how much the emotional/mental state of the receiver matters to determining if consent was violated; e.g. if someone doesn't mind (or enjoys) if boundaries were pushed, how much does this impact how you evaluate the consentiness? For some people, it's a lot!
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What's fascinating is that this distinction might not be so black/white.
There's research that female sexual pleasure is tied to what pleases our partners.
Which is seen as a problem: how can women get what we want, when what we want is bound up in what our partners want?
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But pleasure divorced from what our partners want is part of what got us into this mess in the first place.
As we evolve our understanding of consent, let's not lose this precious capacity for what we might call✨empathic pleasure✨
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Rape is used to describe a scenario not a feeling so I find the 4th options invalid. But I think all the other 3 fall under informed consent. How much are you away of this, are you misinformed, are you unable to be access the situation or inform urself.
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