THREAD: Male sexual energy I like vs male sexual energy I do not like
(these are examples, not absolute, just an attempt at pinning down a loose thing)
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I DO NOT LIKE (in social gatherings):
*positions himself directly facing me, especially if blocking view/flow of others
*seems to agree with me too much, or
*does 'performative' disagreements; stuff that feels not-important or like he doesn't 'really' believe it
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*seems both afraid of bringing up sex work and also interested in bringing it up at the same time
*downplays things about himself he thinks i might not like
*looks at me more than others, but also gives off like... sheepish vibes about it? like if i pointed it out he'd deny
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I DO LIKE
*seems fully unintimidated or unafraid of me
*attention is intense when on me, but easily moves away from me to other people
*physically "commits" to the frame; either stands close to me, or isn't near me at all
*is unambiguous and direct about sexual interest
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*the sexual interest seems like an *end unto itself*; as in, he takes joy in the present sexual tension, unrelated to if i turn him down or not
*he seems sexually interested in other women there
*casually physically touches me
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Most of this comes down to confidence and how much feels like it's 'at stake' in his sexual energy. I love sexual energy that seems to exist for itself, for fun, and I feel trapped by energy that seems like it *needs me* to feed it, like I'm fuel for a cavernous void
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Have decided to stop apologizing incessantly.
When being rejected, it is more accurate and flattering to say my loss rather than sorry.
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Kind of interesting, a lot of women seem to express that male sexual interest expressed in a confident way is very attractive, but that same interest expressed in an unconfident way or as if the person expressing it is ashamed of it it is deeply repulsive.
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