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I have noticed that my discomfort with 'being sexual around men' has decreased a bit since being publicly out as having done escorting; maybe something like, it feels less like men assume my sexuality is "about them", now, like people see me as 'whore' and don't feel special?

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goblin à la mode

@goblinodds

Feb 2, 2022

oh wait this is a whole Thing p sure the reason i dont want to be perceived as sexual (except for comedic reasons) is bc "being sexual + female-presenting" + "male friendship" feel mutually exclusive twitter.com/goblinodds/sta…

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Feb 2, 2022

This despite me having sex with ~1 new partner a year lately, and having almost entirely stopped escorting since 2020; I'm still labeled with 'sex worker' and so it seems like people aren't surprised if I do cleavage or flirting or whatev. I'm not totally sure tho, just a theory.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Feb 2, 2022

uh but if this is true, I *like* it. I really like feeling sexy/sexual and i love bringing sexual energy, it's just really hard to do it and be careful not to generate the 'man's hard pee pee pointed at you' vibes that i assume

@goblinodds

is rightfully trying to avoid

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I think if you bring sexual energy you can reasonably expect a sexual response, in the best case?

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Sure, but i think the sexual response that's ideal is like... a diffuse sexual response? Like I'd love a man who's comfortable in his sexuality, unashamed of sexual desire, and also doesn't treat me like he's starving and i'm thanksgiving

5:59 AM · Feb 2, 2022

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heh sexual response inside an expansive awareness! rather than monomaniacal sexual response that is in very narrow awareness and pointed right at someone

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Unfixated sexual awareness! Also links a lot to this: collapsed awareness on the target reads as predatory, which the object of that awareness can very much pick up on even in use of language like target and object that this way of being requires

youtube.com

Dating and attraction with expanded awareness

Oh god let's go here, gentlyAlso realised that my hands look weirdly disembodied... I might move a bit further back from the camera.You can find me in these ...

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Male sexuality generally isn't diffuse. I mean you said it yourself, it's like a werewolf.

Misha Gurevich, Photographer, VC, Wives 0/1

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unfortunately like 90 percent of men are getting way less sex than they want

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So your ideal scenario is basically LARPing a softcore movie, where men larp watchers, get aroused and resolve it elsewhere, and you are just a catalyst.