I feel like half of all the long term marriages I know of seemed kinda unhealthy (woo fundie christianity), so I've never really felt like divorce is an automatic failure. A terrible, committed marriage seems like a worse failure!
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I dunno man. I think most people in long term marriages will tell you that they had bad years and good years.
For people to think it's gonna be smooth sailing over the course of multidecades is pretty unrealistic. Bumping heads in close quarters is reality for most of us.
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probably true. but that doesn't seem to describe the dynamics in some of the relationships I'm thinking of.
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divorce and terrible marriages are the same thing. both involve individuals unwilling to look inward and delaying it as long as they can, maybe until they die
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I feel like a lot of people get divorced when they finally get to know each other.
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paraphrasing : our society values a miserable marriage that ends in death over choosing to end said misery and enjoy a full life. The stamp of a good marriage is death. It seems like an arbitrary metric, death is inevitable, theres no prize for senseless misery.
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People are built to think of things how they end. But if you spent 20 yrs with someone and genuinely loved being with them for the majority of the years and things went south the last couple years, all those good years are a success in my book
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I am in a happy, long-term marriage, but it feels like blind luck. There are a half dozen other women I have known who I might have married under other circumstances. In hindsight, I doubt that I'd have stayed married to any of them.
Not bad choices, just shorter time horizons
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