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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I think sex work changed my relationship to my appearance without me noticing: a thread Pre sex work, I cared very little about my appearance. My mom picked out all my clothes to buy till I was 16 or so; I wore minimal/rare makeup, looking hot wasnt something i thought much of 1/
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Chana
@ChanaMessinger
When I was young, I lost things all the time. I much more rarely do now, but I spend all this time being unhappy with myself or buying backups based on the assumption that I probably have, only to find that all is well. Does anyone else have a self image that hasn't caught up?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I started sex work when I was 20; over the years, caring about my appearance became really important for work. I put a *huge* amount of effort into it, cause it was absolutely crucial for my income levels. This entire time, I viewed the care as "sex work specific"
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
As in; I figured "being hot" was an overlay onto my natural, not-caring-about-appearance default, and independent of sex work I wouldn't care much anymore. I think this started out true! But nearly a decade in and I think it's fused with me.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
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@Aella_Girl
I don't know when it happened, it was slow, but somewhere along the way it wasn't just sex-worker-aella-care, it was actual aella care. I'm a little surprised by it. I do think this was caused by sex work, as in if I had never done it I think I'd be less appearance-oriented now.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
But here I am, someone who puts a lot of attention into her appearance, and... it's really weird to realize that this is me now, not the overlay I'd passively assumed it was for years. I don't mind it! It's got pros and cons and ultimately balances out to 'neutral' for me
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