After my date-me survey, I did an intentional and rapid-escalation dating experiment, and learned a lot. A summary is here:
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Huh. That's really interesting, mostly because the garden metaphor doesn't resonate with me at all. I've found that increased proximity rarely tends to shift my first opinions of people. Especially sexually. I've never had interest develop in someone I had zero towards initially.
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I didn't mean to say that proximity causes you to be sexually aroused - maybe I mean something closer to "you can become attracted to most people given the correct frame encouraging it" or something
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The garden & gatekeeper analogy is so good. I really feel that one. Thanks for that.
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I like how legible you have made yourself here. And how much you champion Nate even though it didn't work out. Props.
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I gotta say you’re doing some of the most interesting work out here, please don’t stop
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I’m a bleeding edge rationalist, but this whole thing makes me uncomfortable in a way I can’t quantify. It’s like relationship success has this key factor of “chemistry” of just how two personalities interact being the most important thing
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damn girl u really out there putting ur stuff on blast. this post is definitely my favorite & inspirational.
loved the "But the gatekeeper itself is not allowed in the garden" analogy because the way we protect ourselves isn't really the way we love but ppl often confuse them
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Thanks for writing this. Very interesting and insightful. Love the ideas of time-boxed commitment and upping the intensity.
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