I'd allow myself to get stabbed in a nonvital location in the body in exchange for an expert book on how to navigate tricky community situations like one person asking you to disinvite someone else or how to make decisions around community exclusion based on grey area evidence
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easy peasy, let the person whos asking you to uninvite someone know that the person they want to uninvite will be at the event but they can take it upon themselves not to come
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ok but what if the person who's asking me to uninvite alleges medium bad behavior and me *not* uninviting the person might reflect poorly on me in the future if it turns out the allegations are true
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“Get stabbed in a nonvital location in the body” sounds like “sleep with a guy”
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the best people are always asking how to sacrifice themselves for humanity, but it is often not a trade the universe is built to make
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Do you sit alone in a room for hours a day just thinking up implausible scenarios
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IME being a social conductor is akin to being a dungeon master: there are mutually understood rules and everyone should be in alignment with those rules' spirit.
But the DM rolls their dice in secret for purpose. Ostensible rules + private exceptions a smooth social machine make
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Even being slightly worried by this is a huge mistake. This is the dark underbelly of cancel culture that makes people miserable. Rise above it.
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