Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
To be clear, my point is not that monog relationships create more explosions than poly ones, only that there's a double standard for ascribing blame to the relationship structure. When a poly relationship fails, ppl blame polyamory; when a monog fails, they blame everything else.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Ppl be like "your poly relationship exploded because of the polyamory" but be like "my monog relationship exploded because we couldn't fully meet each others needs and one of us cheated but its definitely not the monogamy"
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
If someone blamed polyamory as the problem for a relationship failure and also blamed monogamy for a relationship failure, or if they didn't blame the structure for either failure at all, I would be way more down.
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🏕 Julia M. Rosedale 🏕
@JuliaRosedale
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I’m sure there are people placing blame in an inconsistent manner, but logistically speaking — evaluating JUST the structure and not people’s ability to communicate effectively — polyamory does come with more challenges. It doesn’t make sense to deny this.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@JuliaRosedale
I could easily imagine me saying this about monogamy in a polygamous world, where the default is multiple wives and monogamy is real weird/niche/strange and someone is like well monogamy does come with more challenges, you can't deny this
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@JuliaRosedale
my point being "more challenges" might be more visible with whatever relationship is unique, and come more from the lack of social understanding and how much learning and deviance from the norm that people have to do. The default is always less complicated.
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