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Aella
@Aella_Girl
To be clear, my point is not that monog relationships create more explosions than poly ones, only that there's a double standard for ascribing blame to the relationship structure. When a poly relationship fails, ppl blame polyamory; when a monog fails, they blame everything else.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Ppl be like "your poly relationship exploded because of the polyamory" but be like "my monog relationship exploded because we couldn't fully meet each others needs and one of us cheated but its definitely not the monogamy"
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
If someone blamed polyamory as the problem for a relationship failure and also blamed monogamy for a relationship failure, or if they didn't blame the structure for either failure at all, I would be way more down.
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Jim Dennis
@answrguy
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
The first fallacy in identifying any root cause for a relationship's "failure" lies in assuming that any singular cause can be identified as primary. From there the fallacious tendency is to leap to whichever characteristics of the relationship, their situation, or either …
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Mike Oppenheim
@mikeyopp
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
My monog rel. ended cuz 2 humans, let alone 3+, can't last if 1 person doesn't want the other to change, or if 1 wants the other to change, but they don't want to. it doesn't matter how many pple, gender, orientation, etc. this is a structural flaw for all relationships. I agree
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S. Yoshi
@s_yoshi12
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I thought the nuance of your argument was crystal clear to begin with. People are just too into their White Hat Biases to detect your point with any veracity
jake
@GGGGarey
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I mean people should really only blame themselves since they’re in control of their own communications and structure choice eh? Any excuse can be interpreted as an action of the indiv or pair
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