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The likelihood ratios (how much more likely it is to get the observed correlation vs the null) in my graphs ranges from 5 to around 1e+10 (extraordinarily likely)
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Actually, when your dataset is so huge, then it's bound to be statistically significant every time, no matter the findings. You should have drawn a random sample which would be much smaller in order for it not to be bs.
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The highest correlation is 0,12. Even if you had 5× bigger sample, it wouldn't show any causality despite it's low p value. Also the bigger male sample has 2× smaller the highest correlation. That implies something.