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Like everyone else, I've been real interested in doing a commune-style thing with some friends, kinda off-grid-ish, because "lil tribe in woods" is the ideal, right? And I still want it, but sometimes I wonder if we've been too permanently socially crippled to pull it off. 1/n

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I would fail as a survivalist. I don't have the knowledge to repair tools, to forage, how to prevent mold, treat wounds, etc. I was formed in a 'civilization' mold, where the most I need to know about my own shit is how to hit the flush lever. Set me into the woods, I'd die. 2/n

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I wonder how much something like this is going on with cultural tribes. Are our attempts at tribe building doomed to fail because we're trying to come at it through a 'civilization' mold? How much do we not know that we don't know about how to sustain this type of community? 3/n

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Like, did our cultural 'handle-conflict' skills get shaped by a world where you don't live near each other? Are we doing something fundamentally wrong for a lots-of-time-spent-together context? Do we have values like self expression that just don't work out in the "wild"? 4/n

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The vast majority of commune attempts fail. Group houses have high turnover, and (tho low sample size) I don't know a single 'friend-family' attempt that's lasted more than 5 years. Given how much everybody seems to want a tribe, the high failure rate is a bit weird. 5/n

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And normie stuff like jobs and housing don't help, but my guess is there's also a ton of default, invisible orientations we have to "how we are supposed to be with others" that are incompatible with long-term tribe success, and we don't have good ways of identifying them. 6/6

1:19 AM · Aug 23, 2021

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I have literally lived off the land (via an acre-sized garden my family tended) and done plenty of backpacking/camping. There are some nice bits, but ultimately it's technology and not the social side that makes me want to stay "plugged in".

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5 years feels like a decently long time for this sort of experience in the context of a typical human lifespan

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Live Free or DeFi

@livefreeordefi

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Hiking the Appalachian Trail years ago, came to realize the only reasons it was possible (let alone somewhat enjoyable) was because of civilization and technology. Seems most people fantasizing a/b commune, off-grid style living r really looking for community within cultural mold

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You may be right. Tho I’m not sure “off grid” offers enough utility to match the effort/risk. Many cohousing communities seem to find the balance tho (ie high success rate). imo the model balances cultural norms with “new to us” tribe building behavior.

en.m.wikipedia.org

Cohousing - Wikipedia

Vials of Wrath carefully balanced

@tim_sandsquid63

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It's called being friends. We can do that.

Misha Gurevich, Photographer, VC, Wives 0/1

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I think it’s just a fundamentally hard problem. Same as with how many people want a life partner but don’t have one: it’s non-trivial to find someone you want to see every day.

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In modern life being "independent" is easy and people always feel like they can walk away from conflict and the next someone/somewhere will be better... Peaceful conflict resolution is actually really tough, need stronger motivation to keep at it.

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the history of communes goes back pretty far in the US. at least 1860's-70's for the type you're thinking of. communal living requires social maturity. unfortunately most people attracted to the idea are too self absorbed and myopic to create a healthy environment.

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People rarely know how communicate let alone grow food or make a fire

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I wonder if it requires long term trial and error i.e. cycling through a lot of people until: 1. The group accumulates enough "tribal" (ha) knowledge to know how to actually run a commune. 2. The people of the right temperament show up. (1/2)

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