they dont know you and theyll never remember this. theyve probably already forgotten
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i asked for you to bare your own shame before me for voyeuristic commiseration eigen not offer me helpful and truthful advice
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Went to go buy a sandwich. I was in a rush, so I quickly jumped out of my truck and went into the restaurant to order. There is a big window that faces the parking area. As I was ordering, someone shouted out, "Who drives a green pick up?!"
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Yesterday the cashier at the grocery store said “have a nice day” and instead of “you too” I just said “you” and didn’t realize it until it was too late. Thought about it for a while after
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Walked into the store and grabbed a ladies cart. For some reason I thought she was an employee handing them out. They don’t do that.
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Not mine, but lots of good ones here:https://twitter.com/whomademecrispy/status/1341775286128451586 …
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i still periodically assume that people on the street talking to their cell phones are talking to me. like once a month or so
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In a cinema, I idly put my arm on the back of the empty seat beside me. I noticed the area where my hand came to rest felt weird, and stroked it trying to find out what was up. Only after several seconds of this did I realize I was stroking the hand of a person in the seat behind
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I pitched a fit at a bank when a teller gave me a $10 and told me she’d given me a $20. Called the mgr, went full Karen. Got my money, then later found the $20…in my other pocket. Mortified. Went back with the $ to apologize, she’d gone home for the day. :(
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ohhhhhh nooo
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