Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I've been really distracted over the past few months due to attempting to date a new person. It's the #2 top scorer from my date-me survey, and we're intentionally and rapidly escalating the relationship to figure out as hard and fast as possible if we could be life partners. 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
So far the answer looks like "probably not", our predictions of success are 15-20% right now - low enough to be pessimistic but high enough to still be worth trying. It's been a hard, emotional roller coaster eating up most of my spare attention. 2/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
It's had me thinking a lot about life-partner selection; at what point do you accept the tradeoffs and commit? How workable are incompatibilities? How valuable are the rare ways in which you connect? At what point do you switch from explore to exploit? 3/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I made a list of what I want in a partner, weighted them (how valuable to me), rated my past partners according to what I wanted and multiplied their ratings by the weights. Here's chronological order scores of my past partners (including current dude). Max possible score=1560
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
(also to be clear the things i want isn't the only factor; there's things he wants that i don't quite hit, which is another whole other fun stone to throw in that already muddied pond)
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Dmitriy Kolesnikov 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦
@NanoHydraulic
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I don't recall your questions super well but they focused mostly on preferences and interests. Which is significant, but there are less tangible factors pertaining to emotional development/skills and such that the questionnaire can't assess. Is the "prob not" due to these?
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sev
@PageSeverian
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
My intuition here is "premature optimization is the root of all evils" A wrong choice of life partner can be a painful decision with strong opportunity cost, but much of what might go wrong (and what might go right!) is likely not legible to you now anyway. Best of luck!
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