I've been really distracted over the past few months due to attempting to date a new person. It's the #2 top scorer from my date-me survey, and we're intentionally and rapidly escalating the relationship to figure out as hard and fast as possible if we could be life partners. 1/
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I made a list of what I want in a partner, weighted them (how valuable to me), rated my past partners according to what I wanted and multiplied their ratings by the weights. Here's chronological order scores of my past partners (including current dude). Max possible score=1560pic.twitter.com/1QNBT2vq4A
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(also to be clear the things i want isn't the only factor; there's things he wants that i don't quite hit, which is another whole other fun stone to throw in that already muddied pond)
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anyway yeah thats my life and what's been going on sorry if i have been slow to respond to your dms. i mean i'm normally slow to respond to dms but lately it's been especially bad.
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How does exploit come in?
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Another aspect of the same insight: a clear and narrow picture of non-negotiables opens up the space to intrntislly become compatible. If the list of non-negotiable is long, than the issue is not the other people
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The standard answer is 1/e, but that relies on some mathematical assumptions that may not be realistic if you're not trying to date a perfectly spherical cow.
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The paper that shows this answer is actually quite reasonable.
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There aren’t any trade offs when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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It's an absolute cut your losses decision in the end, except for the lucky few. For example my wife and I have the best relationship of anyone I know. Out of 7 billion ppl there is a probably a better match for me out there. I also know I will never encounter that person...
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No one else has ever come close to her so for me my decision to stop and say "this is it I'm all in" was easy. At that point it's basically a trade off of "what can we build in our remaining decades together" or shop for ever praying for an upgrade.
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