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Conversation

I'd be more down with trad sexuality discourse if I felt like they sufficiently demonstrated an understanding of the downsides of trad sex cultures (especially on ppl actually ill suited for trad sexuality) and also if they had better alternative suggestions

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cause atm I'm not fully convinced these ppl understand exactly why trad sexuality norms are losing out in today's sex battles; trad sexuality norms may have helped a lot, but they also really fucking hurt a lot too, and I want deep recognition of that before moving forward

2:37 AM · Jul 20, 2021

Christoph Breuer

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Yes that's a crucial question. If trad sexuality norms are so great, why do so few people in actually practice trad sexuality in the Western World. Trad sexuality doesn't seem to be popular

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Because you don't spend time much with normal people and have a warped perception of sexual norms in practice?

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dissapearance of that type of intimacy came with the changing of what marriage meant. marriage was community-bestowed, for a long time.

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Agreed. Marriage is now a consumptive experience, like going to Disneyland for the first time. Marriage was traditionally a compact with your community. It still is in Croatia, where 500 attendees is considered a small wedding. Divorce becomes game theoretically untenable.

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Trad isn't dying out, half of the folks I know are demisexual or "vanilla".

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Deciding whether or not to have sex with whoever you want isn't a form of sexuality, it's a measurement of a person's discipline and denial. Everyone is either trad or alone, eventually. Monogamous sex is the least bad option for everybody except those with extremely high status.

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Lucas Ghallagher

@LucasGhallagher

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Life is suffering. And, to point to trad sexuality as one of its causes is true, but to say that non-trad sexuality somehow offers less suffering than trad is something I don’t believe to be the case.

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@johannabanana87

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i think trad sex norms losing out is part of natural social decay.. without getting too explicit, some people in young, sexually functional, trad cultures have poor family experiences growing up which causes them to develop perhaps maladaptive sexual preferences. downward spiral

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The whole point is that everyone has to do it for it to be most effective and stable. It's like conscription: you have to punish conscientious objectors with back-breaking work in coal mines else you get a Vietnam. Shaming and so on is a feature, not a bug.

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You may want to take a look at J.D Unwins study on cultures. He studied 80 native cultures and six civilizations and came to the conclusion that sexual restraint was the one thing great cultures had in common. And that sexual freedom equals downfall of civilization

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