Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
I get ppl laughing "what did you expect?" when I ask why is casual sex bad so often? but also now I have an actual appreciation for good sex, which I learned *through having bad casual sex*. I know how to get what sexually satisfies me likely better than most trad wives.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
and it's not just "I had bad sexual experiences so I like the good ones by contrast", it's that lots of casual sex was an active learning experience for me as I learned to navigate my desires with a partner who might not have matched up; what differences could I tolerate, or not?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
if I erased all the casual sex from my past, I feel pretty sure I would be worse at sex, worse at enjoying sex, and worse at knowing my own needs in the presence of someone I want to please. imo, my past casual sexcapades vastly increased the quality of my recent sex life.
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Beezy
@BeezyManzell
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I feel like I have learned much more in partnerships than casual. IMO you can get more in touch with who you are and what you want when the novelty of your partner has worn off, and having that surety/confidence makes us better lovers with new or consistent partners.
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Sam Ismail
@samismx
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Agree: trial and error enables one to recognize the kind of sex that most satisfies them. Were your trials casual by choice? Did the relative transience come with any trade-offs in exchange for the learning?
argyriou
@argyriou15
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
If you had the same duration of sexual experience with one man, and you both cared about each other's sexual satisfaction, you'd probably be as good, or better, at it with that man.
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@Knobgob1in
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I'm happy it's worked out for you, but I definitely don't think everyone needs bad casual sex to discover what they consider good sex. I didn't.
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