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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4

      i mean, okay, but i don't know what *that* means. What are you defining as 'girl'?

      1 reply 0 retweets 52 likes
    2. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      It doesn't really have an exact definition. "Boy" and "girl" are arbitrary categories society puts people in. It's up to the person themselves to determine if they fit one or not. I'm just saying that you can fit one and still not like gendered assumptions/stereotypes etc.

      6 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4

      I'm trying to clarify here, pls let me know if I'm wrong you're saying that "girl" is a category determined by society (with stereotypes, like mops floors, etc.?) and people who do fit this category are girls, and people who don't, aren't girls?

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
    4. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      Well I think "mops floors" is more of a gender role (which are bullshit of course), but yeah that's the basic idea - things that are considered characteristics of a girl. Since people are complex and generally don't neatly fit each other's assumptions, (cont.)

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    5. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4 @Aella_Girl

      it's up to each person to decide which gender, whether binary or not, makes the most sense to them. But even if it is binary, that doesn't mean all the assumptions people make are fair or right. At least that's how I see it

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4

      I don't understand this. If "girl" is the category of "girl", which has a list of feminine stereotypes, then this means that I am personally only partially girl, and partially boy (for the stereotypes of boy that I hit). We could even make tests to help estimate your % gender

      2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
    7. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      I don't think it can be that clearly defined, for one thing, especially since it has so much to do with how people think and feel, which is hard to quantify like that. If someone thinks they fit a gender enough and are comfortable with it, then they know best

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    8. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4

      But... I mean they probably don't know best? A lot of times people self-describe and self-understand poorly. If someone acts as the epitome of male stereotype in every way, yet says they're a girl, according to your definition I'd say they're mistaken.

      1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
    9. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @Aella_Girl

      I wouldn't. It's true that people can describe and understand themselves poorly, but they're a lot better at it than an outside person coming in and making assumptions, because we all only have experience with our own minds. (cont.)

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    10. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4 @Aella_Girl

      And this applies to more than just gender. If someone tells you they think or feel a certain way, it wouldn't make sense to tell them they actually don't with any level of confidence, outside of some very specific circumstances, right? It's the same with this

      2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
      Replying to @smallsamson4

      To some extent yes, but there's *lots* of other examples where we are happy to push back when we perceive people's self description to be wrong - on morality, on attractiveness, on height, on abusiveness, and yes, on personality

      5:37 PM - 14 Apr 2021
      • 1 Retweet
      • 4 Likes
      • Erik Blades Aᴅᴀᴍ Adam Collins
      2 replies 1 retweet 4 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @smallsamson4

          For example, I wasn't aware of my drive for debate/intellectual conflict as a defining trait for years, and other people told me they saw me as debate-prone. This countered my self perception, but was accurate.

          1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
        3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @smallsamson4

          I've had people tell me I was being self righteous when I was and didn't want to admit it to myself, or a myriad of other stuff. I speak from experience when I say there have been cases where I was *incentivized* to be dishonest with myself.

          1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
        4. Show replies
        1. New conversation
        2. smallsamson‏ @smallsamson4 Apr 14
          Replying to @Aella_Girl

          Those have more to do with actions or physical attributes though, except personality. And even in that case, if you think someone has a certain personality and it turns out they were just hiding it or communicating it in a way you didn't understand, they'd be right

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl Apr 14
          Replying to @smallsamson4

          but doesn't a huge amount of the set of gender stereotypes have to do with physical attributes

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. End of conversation

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