Okay so girls are "People who say they are a girl" and also .. do you mean that "girlishness" is "the things that are most commonly found among people who say they are girls"?
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"A girl is anybody who says they're a girl" feels weird, like it doesn't map onto my understanding of girl. I'm imagining a the most masculine man possible who says they're a girl to enter a woman's-only area, would you consider them a girl? (i know this is extreme example)
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okay, cool. I think we have really strongly different understandings of gender, and I have a hard time understanding the definition of "girl" as including something the example listed above. Separately-
If I did want to have some sort of term to refer to the differences in the example above, that wasn't 'girl' or 'boy' or 'gender' or whatever, like if I wanted to describe how a bearded/testosterone/penis person was different from the other ppl in the women's only area