In general (but not always), i default interpret "I'm nonbinary" to mean "I don't like when people have gendered assumptions about me"
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That's not what it means though, it means you're literally not just a boy or just a girl
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i mean, okay, but i don't know what *that* means. What are you defining as 'girl'?
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It doesn't really have an exact definition. "Boy" and "girl" are arbitrary categories society puts people in. It's up to the person themselves to determine if they fit one or not.
I'm just saying that you can fit one and still not like gendered assumptions/stereotypes etc.
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I'm trying to clarify here, pls let me know if I'm wrong
you're saying that "girl" is a category determined by society (with stereotypes, like mops floors, etc.?) and people who do fit this category are girls, and people who don't, aren't girls?
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Well I think "mops floors" is more of a gender role (which are bullshit of course), but yeah that's the basic idea - things that are considered characteristics of a girl.
Since people are complex and generally don't neatly fit each other's assumptions, (cont.)
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it's up to each person to decide which gender, whether binary or not, makes the most sense to them. But even if it is binary, that doesn't mean all the assumptions people make are fair or right. At least that's how I see it
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I don't understand this. If "girl" is the category of "girl", which has a list of feminine stereotypes, then this means that I am personally only partially girl, and partially boy (for the stereotypes of boy that I hit). We could even make tests to help estimate your % gender
And sure, only I know fully the ways I map onto the "girl" category or don't, but regardless this still means that everybody is sort of on a spectrum of "girl" to "not girl" and probably nobody is actually a full girl
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I don't think it can be that clearly defined, for one thing, especially since it has so much to do with how people think and feel, which is hard to quantify like that. If someone thinks they fit a gender enough and are comfortable with it, then they know best
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But... I mean they probably don't know best? A lot of times people self-describe and self-understand poorly. If someone acts as the epitome of male stereotype in every way, yet says they're a girl, according to your definition I'd say they're mistaken.
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