When I see people really deeply terrified about hurting others, to the point where it's hurting themselves, I get a strong urge to offer myself as someone for them to hurt so they can practice feeling safe causing pain to others
I read through a book on it once and didn't resonate very strongly with any of the descriptions. The most close one was 5, but didn't feel super accurate.
This is the 5 with a 4 wing: "The Iconoclast is inventive, cerebral, humble, intellectually-intuitive, abstract, eccentric, disconnected, subversive, and reclusive. They are contemplative and astute explorers, but can be antagonistic and nihilistic."
Yeah sounds vaguely right! The descriptions I read in the book were much longer and there was a lot that I didn't identify with, but all those words you listed there sound good