hello i have some intrusive questions about your sex life please: have you ever experienced sexual compatibility with another human being? what was it like? what was it made of - like what was different about it vs. non-compatibility? how do you go about looking for it?
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I've enjoyed a ton of sex, but there's only one partner I think of as 'really sexually compatible', and it was basically that he really liked doing the things that i also really liked. We didn't have to 'adjust for' each other very much, which is common in other sex partners.
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I don't know how to 'look for it' beyond asking invasive questions about sexual preferences early on. Kink communities tend to be more open in general? I did do a 'have sex with me' survey to try to find a compatible person and did have fun sex with someone from the survey.
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also part of it is that a lot of the sex i've had has involved suppressing what I want for various reasons; typically "I like him and want him to like me and i can sense he doesn't want what I want so i need to not let him know I want this thing so he doesn't feel bad around me"
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yeah idk if that works for me? It's actively less enjoyable to me if I feel like my partner is doing it just cause I like it and not because they like it; this feature is so strong for me I often actively conceal what I want before I learn what they want.