this might come as a shock but I feel kinda uncomfortable talking too directly about sex and what arouses me to the public, and I'm not fully sure why. Some theories:
1 latent sexual shame that can only handle being publicly sexual when it's clearly compartmentalized
2 fear people will lie to me to make me think we're sexually compatible
3 i haven't seen other ppl do it yet
4 people might actually arouse me and thus have control over me (??)
But I also have a desire *to* be totally sexually open. There's a lil deep part of me that feels confused when intimacy has boundaries, like if I'm afraid of showing people something in myself then I'm afraid of seeing the same thing in them, which doesn't feel like love.
It feels like a faint echo of a possible world where I just suck every dick or whatever and it's amazing, and everybody else is sucking all the dicks too and nobody's getting jealous and the world is a much more joyful place. So I wanna know why I'm afraid.
5 People are actually hardwired to keep this info private, the same way we are hardwired to feel uncomfortable naked around other people in non-intimate situations.
2 seems pretty reasonable given your current questionnaire/application form. Or indeed just w.r.t future people you may meet given you’re sort of internet famous.