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Let me introduce you guys to the utterly WILD 1904 summer olympics men's marathon, in which 32 men competed, but only 14 actually finished. The winner cheated; he hitchhiked on a car through most of the race, almost got gold, and when he was caught he insisted he was joking. 1/

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The race planners for some fucking reason decided not to include water stations in the event to deliberately induce dehydration. There was only a single well in the 25-mile run, and the temperature was over 90F on super-dusty roads. The actual winner barely made it. 2/

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He ate rat poison mixed with brandy along the way in an attempt to keep going because it's also kind of a stimulant apparently? He had to be dragged by assistants across the finish line, and lost EIGHT POUNDS over the course of the marathon. 3/

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Another guy hitchhiked to participate in the race, cut his pants into shorts, but he hadn't eaten in 40 hours so he grabbed some apples along the run. They were rotten, so he got sick and had to lie down to nap... but still ended up getting 4th place. 4/

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Another guy got chased a mile off course by aggressive dogs. Another guy almost DIED after inhaling too much dirt kicked up by race officials cars. In conclusion, can this please be a movie?

en.m.wikipedia.org

Athletics at the 1904 Summer Olympics – men's marathon - Wikipedia

7:08 PM · Mar 13, 2021

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That's bonkers

Peter Todd/mempoolfullrbf=1

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Plot twist: the competitors conspired to make the race ridiculous, in an early attempt at securing a reality TV deal.

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This would make an amazing movie. Would it be a zany comedy like Rat Race? I'd like that.

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Strychnine is a stimulant and has been used as a common addition to blotter paper to prevent evaporation of liquid LSD. This is not at all surprising.

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Hell equestrian to the movie!