I'm not arguing that everybody should go poly, or that it's best for everybody. I'm arguing: 1-Monog ppl have lots of severe misconceptions about polyamory 2-Monogamy is in the water supply; a lot of people don't 'actually' have a poly option or know they'd be happier poly
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But they can't go poly - maybe they've got a full life developed now, maybe they don't know any other poly people (because those other ppl are also ashamed/don't know they're poly). Maybe they have zero skills, framework, or examples of how poly could even work.
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This was true for me! Early on, I "was poly" in the sense that it was right for me (e.g., my monog boyfriend sexted with someoene else and I tried to 'make' myself feel jealous cause I thought i should), but had no idea how to do poly cause i hadn't heard of it.
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polyamory is analagous in some ways to homosexuality back in the day. "You know you could leave your wife and be with another guy?" "what.. no there's like a billion reasons i can't do that. I'm not 'really gay'. And nobody would understand, i can't get married, what about kids?"
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This is a very difficult problem to get by, with the balance being: promote monogamy to the detriment of those who are naturally polyamorous OR promote polyamory to the detriment to those who might naturally be monogamous.
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How about we don't shame either one of them
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If I’m reading correctly, you’re saying a subculture from the west coast has somehow discovered another fundamental “way to be” that can improve the lives of the rest of us?
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Just did some research, turns out it’s just having relationships with multiple people at once... The “life philosophy” space is pretty busy, and this one seems less developed than the meditation movement, or even veganism.
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