I'm not arguing that everybody should go poly, or that it's best for everybody. I'm arguing: 1-Monog ppl have lots of severe misconceptions about polyamory 2-Monogamy is in the water supply; a lot of people don't 'actually' have a poly option or know they'd be happier poly
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And because polyamory is so heavily shamed, misunderstood, and derided in culture, it's also not *ever* reflected in media. There's almost zero poly representation anywhere. Monogamous thought is EVERYWHERE. It is so cloyingly obvious once you're looking for it. -
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And so a lot of people who might have really thrived in polyamorous relationships, ever actually get the chance. They've only ever gotten heavy cultural messaging that monogamy is the *only way to be*, and they go get into monog relationships and feel shitty when it doesn't work.
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But they can't go poly - maybe they've got a full life developed now, maybe they don't know any other poly people (because those other ppl are also ashamed/don't know they're poly). Maybe they have zero skills, framework, or examples of how poly could even work.
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This was true for me! Early on, I "was poly" in the sense that it was right for me (e.g., my monog boyfriend sexted with someoene else and I tried to 'make' myself feel jealous cause I thought i should), but had no idea how to do poly cause i hadn't heard of it.
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polyamory is analagous in some ways to homosexuality back in the day. "You know you could leave your wife and be with another guy?" "what.. no there's like a billion reasons i can't do that. I'm not 'really gay'. And nobody would understand, i can't get married, what about kids?"
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I'm very much supportive of whatever sexual arrangement someone chooses to have. That said, a lot of the language employed in this thread is similar to that used in defense of cults.
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Agreed with everything except for raising kids. If you want to have kids, you better have at least 16 year commitment to a single partner. There is enormous data available indicating that not having a stable pair of mom and dad absolutely causes significant physiological issues.
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No there isn't withouth pushing cause and effect too much. Studies suggest that even a one parent household is able to maintain stability. And you talking about parents *secretly* having sex on the side. Children are not invited into bedrooms now are they? So vere is the dif?
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Is there evidence poly people raise kids well?
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Is there evidence any people raise kids well?
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