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Replying to

@selentelechia

and

@QiaochuYuan

don't you get bored though? Or won't you eventually?

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I don't think so? I'll let you know when I'm fifty lol but...having had a promiscuous phase, an intense novelty-seeking phase, and a nonmonogamous phase... I'm p sure that this is how my libido works and has basically always worked I've had *fun* sex outside of exclusivity

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...but it hits different (and much better-to-me) when I'm monogamous and it seems to keep *getting* better (I'm not trying to shill, I know this doesn't hold for everyone)

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and periods of mild boredom or routine feel extremely minor, or at least manageable actually! the prospect of getting bored having sex with one person feels to me like the way you describe jealousy like, sure, might happen! but the benefits of working through it are vast

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i mean i am 100% for only being with one person if thats what you want. The problem I've always had is requiring your partner not to be with others; it's the restriction that's the issue here, not the 'being with one person and working through boredom'.

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it doesn't feel that different from having any other sort of deal dealbreaker? it's a prerequisite for being with *me,* not a prerequisite for them doing whatever else they want with their lives

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I have somewhat complicated feelings about infidelity that might translate badly across twitter if I'm ever *caught off guard* by infidelity, that feels like something would've had to go unnoticed and undiscussed for a long, long time

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I would see it as a sign that we were falling out of alignment on a lot of things, if one of us wanted to sleep with other people I have an expectation that we're committing to *not doing that* until all other reasonable options have been explored

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and I have a strong, strong preference for partners and arrangements where "sleeping with others" is *unlikely* to be compatible with staying romantically involved, for reasons that are hard to articulate but if 75yo Selene visited me...

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...and said "oh yeah, we stopped being sexually exclusive decades ago, and it was fine" I would be really, really surprised? but if it actually *was* fine, well hm