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bosco

@selentelechia

Feb 6, 2021

Replying to

@Aella_Girl

and

@QiaochuYuan

I'm not sure it is, I think I would be devastated if I found out a partner didn't like me at all tho looking at the replies, I don't think people are distinguishing between "hate" fucking and "angry" fucking the former would make me sad but...

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i mean id be devastated if i thought they liked me and it turned out they didnt. but if they didnt like me the entire way through?

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I think I'd just never even consider them as a potential partner in that case 🤔

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sure, i guess i originally meant sexual partner. would you never have sex with someone where you didnt like each other but presumably were horny at each other?

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I meant sexual partner too, if I knew someone didn't like me, my libido would just yeet them out of the lineup

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this is kind of how my brain works in a monogamous context, too I can still find people hot in the abstract ofc but if I'm securely attached in an exclusive relationship, specific people are just not sexually interesting anymore

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don't you get bored though? Or won't you eventually?

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I don't think so? I'll let you know when I'm fifty lol but...having had a promiscuous phase, an intense novelty-seeking phase, and a nonmonogamous phase... I'm p sure that this is how my libido works and has basically always worked I've had *fun* sex outside of exclusivity

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...but it hits different (and much better-to-me) when I'm monogamous and it seems to keep *getting* better (I'm not trying to shill, I know this doesn't hold for everyone)

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and periods of mild boredom or routine feel extremely minor, or at least manageable actually! the prospect of getting bored having sex with one person feels to me like the way you describe jealousy like, sure, might happen! but the benefits of working through it are vast

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i mean i am 100% for only being with one person if thats what you want. The problem I've always had is requiring your partner not to be with others; it's the restriction that's the issue here, not the 'being with one person and working through boredom'.

11:23 PM · Feb 6, 2021

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but i personally count "we're allowed to see other ppl but we naturally don't want to, we've only been with each other for 20 years cause that's waht feels best" as polyamory

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it doesn't feel that different from having any other sort of deal dealbreaker? it's a prerequisite for being with *me,* not a prerequisite for them doing whatever else they want with their lives

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I mean yeah, that's fine, you're not forcing ppl into a relationship with you. But if someone was like "if you wanna date me, it's a prerequisite that you not spend time alone with your friends" i'd be like ??????

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