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i mean id be devastated if i thought they liked me and it turned out they didnt. but if they didnt like me the entire way through?

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I think I'd just never even consider them as a potential partner in that case 🤔

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sure, i guess i originally meant sexual partner. would you never have sex with someone where you didnt like each other but presumably were horny at each other?

QC (4/10 Substack posts)

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i cannot imagine being horny with someone i don't like 🤔🤔🤔 continual fascination over here

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maybe rationalizing, but i suspect for me arousal has been too tied into with 'serving other people', like sex has been about not caring about my needs and being whatever the other person needs. and 'not liking each other' feels like the polar opposite of that.

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it's freedom from guilt or caring, its abandoning the anxieties of trying to make your partner have a good time, or trying to convince them you're having a good time because o no what about hurt feelings, its totally selfish

QC (4/10 Substack posts)

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arousal and mating in captivity both talk about this i think but it's still mostly theoretical for me at this point 🤔

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ya i mean my theory is that this is less common for men than women. it would make sense your set of anxieties around sex is different from mine

QC (4/10 Substack posts)

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the deal with me is that like if i felt full permission to be as selfish as i wanted to be i'd just say "hold me tight and literally never let me go" it wouldn't be very sexual