i mean id be devastated if i thought they liked me and it turned out they didnt. but if they didnt like me the entire way through?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @QiaochuYuan
I think I'd just never even consider them as a potential partner in that case
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Replying to @selentelechia @QiaochuYuan
sure, i guess i originally meant sexual partner. would you never have sex with someone where you didnt like each other but presumably were horny at each other?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @selentelechia
i cannot imagine being horny with someone i don't like


continual fascination over here1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes -
Replying to @QiaochuYuan @selentelechia
maybe rationalizing, but i suspect for me arousal has been too tied into with 'serving other people', like sex has been about not caring about my needs and being whatever the other person needs. and 'not liking each other' feels like the polar opposite of that.
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it's freedom from guilt or caring, its abandoning the anxieties of trying to make your partner have a good time, or trying to convince them you're having a good time because o no what about hurt feelings, its totally selfish
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @selentelechia
arousal and mating in captivity both talk about this i think but it's still mostly theoretical for me at this point
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan @selentelechia
ya i mean my theory is that this is less common for men than women. it would make sense your set of anxieties around sex is different from mine
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @selentelechia
the deal with me is that like if i felt full permission to be as selfish as i wanted to be i'd just say "hold me tight and literally never let me go" it wouldn't be very sexual
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oh also "kiss me everywhere forever"
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this doesnt feel sexual to me. do you have any sexual desires at all that dont break down into emotional/romantic needs?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @selentelechia
i mean yeah but i've never felt them with another person in the same room
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