Often people ask me "how do you deal with jealousy in polyamory?" When I get jealous, I meditate on the feeling. What am I afraid of? It's usually stuff like "I'm afraid he'll like her better than me" or "I'm afraid he'll leave me for her". 1/7
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P.S. I've dated as a poly person for a decade, and only once have I had a poly partner leave me for another partner, which really sucked but in hindsight was a good thing. Nearly all my other breakups were due to other, non-poly issues.
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I think this is the thing for many monogamous people. Women get left holding the bag with kids and other family responsibilities, with less earning power, and so jealousy is an expression of an underlying need for assurance.
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I suspect probably a lot more men would be less likely to leave their wives if they weren't monogamous; monogamy forces an either/or choice, whereas lots of people would remain in their marriages if they could have both.
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But in this analogy, commitment to "the company" would surely be analogous to commitment to "the relationship," no? I have different expectations on a romantic partner than a friend. If a friend moves halfway across the world, I say goodbye and wish them well because... 1/3
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there is a recognition that my friends and I are not building a life "together." We build separate lives, and enjoy the company of one another whenever possible. When looking for romance, I am not merely seeking this same friendship dynamic + sex. I am seeking a partner. 2/3
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Why do you think that jealousy of a business partner stepping out with other business partners has to be over friendship, rather than the company? And why do you think that jealousy in a relationship is not 'for the relationship?'
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