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As a kid, well before I had any sexual feelings, I had ... 'pre-sexual' feelings? Things made me feel funny, and I was oddly fascinated with stuff I realize in hindsight was actually sexual. But as a kid, it wasn't sexual exactly. What was it? Is there a word for pre-sexual?

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I remember flirting with sadism as a 6 y.o. Felt very sexual even back then. Of Course I felt immense shame about it later. And it was gay so add that layer of confusion.

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and

Wow, someone with a similar experience regarding sadism at a young age. For me, if I found something exceptionally "cute" (a baby chick for ex.) there would follow an overwhelming urge to inflict harm to that thing. And yes,, the sheer carnality of it all felt sexual, no doubt.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@whisquors

I had that, except it was rerouted masochism; i wanted to 'be' the thing i pretended to be hurting (i never actually hurt anything besides myself, just like... drew weird pictures n stuff)

8:32 AM · Jan 29, 2021

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"Rerouted masochism" is actually a rly good way to put this thing into words. I'm no sadist.. Unlike you, unfortunately, I recall 2x where I acted on those urges w/o thinking much about it. Only to realize, immediately after, that I had done something reprehensible & unacceptable