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I suspect this might come from like... A poor understanding of what "fuck whoever, whenever" actually looks like. The ability to do so doesn't mean people actually do so, and the people who don't want it are less likely to do it. But some people actually do want it.

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I've probably had sex with... More people than anybody responding to you (200 people? Ish?), and the idea that this has damaged my ability for romantic intimacy feels extremely untrue. It has changed some things sure, but it's way more nuanced than that.

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The biggest effect is probably that it severely limits your pool of potential future long term partners. I'm sure you already realize this.

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I feel confused when people bring this up. It's like... As an analogy, if someone is super smart and also wants to date someone super smart, that is also limiting their pool of potential partners, but like... So what? There's still some smart ppl out there looking for you too

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The difference is that in your analogy you're choosing the size of the pool. You can always decide to settle. In my analogy they are choosing the size of the pool. They have to decide to settle.

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There's a percentage of people out there who legit don't care how many people you've had sex with, and that's correlated with a lot of other things I like. If I go for other things I like, then they're very likely to not reject me based on my partner count.

6:18 PM · Jan 23, 2021

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I'm sure you're right there's a good correlation, but obviously it isn't perfect. You're losing the people who fall outside that Venn diagram. Again, I'm sure you realize this. I'm not saying you're making the wrong choices, just that these are obvious trade-offs.