i think it's near-impossible to find a man (and only slightly less impossible to find a woman) who will be satisfied with sexual exclusivity in a monogamous relationship for the rest of their life.
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I guess my take is that the vast majority of people feel sexual attraction to people outside their relationship, most of them at some point have stronger feelings for someone else, some of them want to make the tradeoffs for nonexclusivity, and few actually want a poly family
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I think I agree? I think also there's some fuzziness around 'want' here; lots of people functionally end up doing the discount-bin-poly version of family by having secret kids with multiple partners, and those might actually 'want' polyamory in a more permissive culture.
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