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Monogamy-by-default sounds like college-by-default. I'm like hey, isn't it weird you enter this life plan that is meant to help but also you're now in a lot of debt... Aren't there actual serious downsides we're sort of pretending are normal? I get that college is helpful, but...

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Jan 14, 2021

College has a big sting in it that ruins lives in a wide variety of ways, and we tend to brush it aside. When I say ppl aren't satisfied with sexual exclusivity in monogamy, it's like saying people are unsatisfied with college debt, even if they definitely wanted college.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Cause obviously long term monogamy isn't exactly naturally aligned with the needs of a lot of people in it. By the time men are old, 25% report actually cheating on their wives. Something in our institution of marriage is deeply broken, it's not serving a huge chunk of people.

7:58 AM · Jan 14, 2021

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Misha Gurevich, Photographer, VC, Wives 0/1

@drethelin

Jan 14, 2021

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@Aella_Girl

Is this an argument you would buy for other human sins? What about long term non-violence? Many men beat their wives or kids, does this mean non-violence is not a good long term goal?

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I've been pretty consistently against use of force as a very fundamental rule. We can have a lot of discussions about the benefit of human systems that don't really involve force.

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These ppl probably all went to college and think the debt is virtuous

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It isn't the institution, it's that people are not honest with each other.

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Humans didn't evolve to be monogamous but we have strong jealousy instincts that prevent poly from ever becoming mainstream. There will always be dissatisfaction.

@holzprueghel

Jan 14, 2021

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@Aella_Girl

endorse 1), don't care much about 2)~

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It is, however, quite well aligned with the needs of stable families, providing people with a generally safe childhood environment. The monogamy isn't there to primarily benefit the monogamous individual - it's for the sake of society and its replication.