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I was a kid who loved puzzles, once sat for four hours solving a rubik's cube using sheer reason And once when I was young my dad forced me to sit and carve a chicken when I no idea how; it took me hours, it was a pile of shreds at the end, it was horrible, I cried twitter.com/ManiacalV/stat

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

My point being that I already had intense patience and resolve and my failure at chicken carving wasn't due to lack of either of those things, it was that I was being forced into a puzzle that wasn't fun, that people who were supposed to be caring for me, refused to help me.

1:11 AM · Jan 4, 2021

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The reason I think bean dad is okay is the thread ends with him saying his daughter wants to open every can in the house now. Certain parts of the story are a little worrying, but based on the ending I trust that the dad understood the situation and wasn't pushing her too far.

Shadow of the Ingroup

@ingroupshadow

Jan 4, 2021

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@Aella_Girl

I wonder how many people mad at bean daddy are just angry at their own dads and think the context for his daughter must be the same. Can you imagine a bean dad situation that's good for the child? Or is bean daddy for sure a mean daddy?

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My wife sent me this and I felt like it did a good job spelling out my issues with it.

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Chuck Wendig

@ChuckWendig

Jan 3, 2021

Apropos of nothing (ahem cannabeansdad) you really can’t teach self-reliance by starting with self-reliance. It’s not an origin point, it’s an end goal, and a distant one at that.

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This ‘teaching by not actually teaching’ philosophy makes no sense. Parents are supposed to provide and guide. Bean dad and unfortunately your dad were deluded into thinking what they were doing was good parenting.

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I don't know the first thing about parenting as I dont have any kids, but I am almost certain every kid resents something their parents did at some point in their life. Otherwise we would not develop psychological "problems". Even a slap on the back can be enlightening.

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Is the difference in your stories the outcome of the exercise? She feels like she achieved something so the memory of the lesson should be rewarding to her. The tin opens or it doesn't but there are many ways to incorrectly carve a chicken so less chance of a positive memory?