I seem to be way more fascinated by the dom/sub gender discrepancy than most other people. Given how incredibly much "getting laid" is baked into the core drive of men, it's bizarre they aren't kinky as much as women want. It's fucking weird!!
Conversation
Show replies
Replying to
So the mystery is why [women's demand for dominance] > [men's supply of dominance], correct?
Maybe the explanation is that the reason women find dominance attractive in men is precisely *because* it is rare among men. Like, it's an unconscious way to filter for the top % of men?
9
113
i.e., women are implicitly defining "dominant" as "more dominant than most men", which is why supply will never be enough to meet demand
(I'm not confident I'm on the right track here, tbc. And I share your sense that this is an interesting puzzle)
5
65
Show replies
Replying to
Is it though? Testosterone explains this well, where it expresses generally as "fuck it", or "kill it". Men are kinky in what they do to get a women in bed but not necessarily what they do in it because they've already got sex in the bag at that point.
Replying to
But aren't kinks often a reaction to repression? So if you think men are fixated on sex in a simple-minded way, maybe it shouldn't be surprising that they're also less kinky.
1
1
9
Replying to
i would say this shows a woman's conditioning runs way deeper than a man's, manliness doesn't serve a man as much
1
1
Replying to
It's hard to be a good dom in this social climate, where we don't support enough and even suppress typical male traits - owning your actions, taking lead, planning.. modern males are more feminine, therefore also more sub.
1
4
Replying to
I think this has lots to do with how male sexuality is socially externalized to be less about their enjoyment and more about their partner's.
You can see it reflected in social attitudes regarding circumscision to infidelity.
1
6