Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
People have way bigger variance around sexual promiscuity than you think. Some people genuinely strongly prefer trad, monog, conservative sexuality; others genuinely strongly prefer nontrad, polyamorous, publicly expressed sexuality. both of these are FINE. this isn't a war!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
So many people seem to be completely unable to understand that I actually deeply prefer polyamory. I've always been like this; before I knew what polyamory was, I was in my first monog relationship, and when I caught my bf sexting with someone else, I... didn't care.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I "got mad" cause I thought I was supposed to be mad, but it really didn't bother me. It seemed obvious that my boyfriend loved me, and his sexting had nothing to do with how much he wanted me. Once I heard what polyamory was, it was like... ohhh. *That's* what I am.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
It feels ingrained, the way I am. Ever since the moment I heard what polyamory was, I knew without a doubt that was me, and in the ten years since then I've never once thought about being monogamous. And guess what - there's men out there who are also like me!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
And hardcore polyamory does *not* mean lack of commitment - I know poly couples who have been married for decades with kids. To me, polyamory simply means "not requiring your partner to avoid intimacy with others." That's it, and that can take many different forms.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I tend to behave 'monogamously' in my relationships; once I find someone I really like, I tend to be happy with them and not seek out anyone else. Often they feel the same about me. And that's great! But at no point would did we expect that other intimacy was off the table.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Misconceptions about polyamory: *polyamory means less commitment (poly ppl's primary relationships last the same amount as monog ones do) *no men will want you if you're poly (so many married poly women out there!) *polyamory is necessarily a phase or a choice
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
All this to say that I get lots of shit online for expressing difficulty finding a partner; people assume it's because I do sex work, and no man wants that. But... this feels like not the issue to me. I'm poly already, and poly men are way more likely to be fine with sex work.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
In my heavily poly circles, I've never once seen a sex worker have trouble dating. It's legitimately just a job - and maybe that's hard for you to understand, but for some people it's actually seriously not a big deal. Sex is a different type of thing for us, and we like it.
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🌈 Artemis⚡️
@ArtemisDune
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Agreed. I have a poly partner who says it’s attractive to him; that others desire me, that I’m confident and that I can relate and connect with such a variety of humans. My experience has always been contrary to what ppl say about SW and relationship.
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