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I often really agree with this. I don't know how to function in conversations where theres no gap between people talking! At some point it just switches over to a conversation between the loudest, most aggressive speakers.

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Spencer Greenberg

@SpencrGreenberg

Dec 16, 2020

Controversial take: conversations are usually bad when they involve more than 4 people. The gap between speakers becomes so small that it's like a game of Jeopardy to speak. And it's almost impossible to stay on one topic long enough to dig into that topic deeply.

6:51 PM · Dec 16, 2020

TAKE CHARGE or Be Ignored

@PapiKnox

Dec 16, 2020

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@Aella_Girl

Conversations with 3+ people over money, useless. Conversations with 3+ people having fun, unforgettable.

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This is like saying "cinema is better than netflix". They are good for different things. You may prefer one over the over, but to conclude that one is better than the other would be a mistake.

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on the other side tho, i cannot handle being 1-on-1 with _anybody_ even if its a best friend. there is a certain sweet zone with 3 people. its like a molecule

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Plus one on most aggressive speaker. The tone also shifts afterwards and the more thoughtful speakers may leave because they catch the drift.

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When I've talked about this to people I've been told I need to be more aggressive and loud. When I try that I'm sometimes told I'm too aggressive and loud. *shrug*

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...or the speaker most willing to breach social politeness norms by talking over other people.

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If you're trying to be polite and not interrupt, the topic will change. You've still got that thing you wanted to say from before, so you try holding it in your mind for a few minutes while listening to new topic until it's clear you can't revisit old topic. Then it starts over.

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I guess you just need to pick conversations where you have something to contribute. Calm authority that comes with command of the subject, superior knowledge and erudition trumps loudness and aggression any time.

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Same for me, and here in Argentina, ppl also don't wait for a pause, but interrupt constantly to replay even if the speaker idea/sentence is not finished. You can stand watching/trying to understand what is going on.