how do you deal with irl confrontations when friends are willfully ignoring flaws in their logic or being close minded?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
i don’t know what that is. google tells me it’s a psychological modality for authentic connection. it seems like in practice this involves expressing what you see in the other person and how it makes you feel. in an effort to reduce the gap or “otherness” between ppl ??
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Replying to @evelynharlow_
Oh yeah. Sorry I didn't explain, it's a practice that's pretty awesome for... Idk if I'd say conflict resolution but maybe more conflict exploration. I prefer circlingeurope style (there's a few different circling practices out there)
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
it sounds great but I fear in practice this is going to make people feel like they’re being gaslit. “I hear you saying x but there’s something in your voice that tells me y” idk about your friends but getting my friends on board with this method would be a struggle in itself
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Replying to @evelynharlow_
Yeah people sometimes do that in circling but that would be a "violation" of the guidelines of circling; an experienced facilitator would likely catch them in that and rephrase.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
You're allowed to say "when I hear you say this, I don't believe you. I have a story about you where you feel differently" - you have to "own" your perception of others. Ppl are also allowed to have whatever reaction they want to something like that, including anger.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
does that not effectively end the conversation if the person is angry and resisting further exploration? also how do u do this when u don’t have access to a facilitator?
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Replying to @evelynharlow_
Yeah I mean it's more of a practice so its better if ppl have been regularly doing this. One of the guidelines of circling is commitment to connection, so remain in connection with the person even inside your desire for disconnection
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
i have no experience with this and don’t know anyone who does irl so i’m struggling to understand how I could apply this without convincing my friends and family to learn circling with me
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https://www.circleanywhere.com/ I'd recommend signing up for this to start learning. One benefit of circling is it's helped me handle conflicts with others better even if they don't know how to circle.
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