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In a default polyamory world with stigma against monogamy, imagine a monogamous person expressing any difficulty. "My partner cheated on me" or "Im into this other person but can't act on it" The world would use these normal flaws to mock and degrade monog people. 1/

177

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Nov 8, 2020

Very similarly, it's dangerous to express any problems with a lifestyle that the world holds stigma against. In reality, every single lifestyle holds problems; stigma is just the line between which problems get justified and which are interpreted as signs of deep failure. 2/

150

Aella

@Aella_Girl

I think this is often why persecuted subcultures get extremely sensitive to people pointing out actual flaws - they've learned that people use the flaws as a weapon, and don't trust anyone making a move towards it. This is unhelpful for everyone, and leads to stuff like -

5:32 PM · Nov 8, 2020

Replying to

Everyone getting really touchy if you try to talk about stuff like race and crime. The answer to this is to stop using flaws as evidence of failure or an excuse to judge. Your identity and lifestyle are riddled with "flaws" too, you're probably just much more blind to them.

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Replying to

Yeah. This definitely happens in the trans community. Our experience is of people jumping on every possible thing to fuck us over, so people are really sensitive to things that look like that. Sometimes leads to legit criticism being blasted unfairly.

Replying to

Do you think the persecuted subcultures get too sensitive or those who try to defend them? A real question here - not a rhetoric one.