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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 8 Nov 2020

    In a default polyamory world with stigma against monogamy, imagine a monogamous person expressing any difficulty. "My partner cheated on me" or "Im into this other person but can't act on it" The world would use these normal flaws to mock and degrade monog people. 1/

    9:27 AM - 8 Nov 2020
    • 11 Retweets
    • 187 Likes
    • Rae Gutzon Borglum Knoxx Gold PauseBreak🏴‍☠️ Your local Sasquatch Adele Dewey-Lopez Hécate tombe Malcolm Ocean James Passaro
    6 replies 11 retweets 187 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 8 Nov 2020

        Very similarly, it's dangerous to express any problems with a lifestyle that the world holds stigma against. In reality, every single lifestyle holds problems; stigma is just the line between which problems get justified and which are interpreted as signs of deep failure. 2/

        3 replies 6 retweets 157 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 8 Nov 2020

        I think this is often why persecuted subcultures get extremely sensitive to people pointing out actual flaws - they've learned that people use the flaws as a weapon, and don't trust anyone making a move towards it. This is unhelpful for everyone, and leads to stuff like -

        3 replies 1 retweet 147 likes
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      4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 8 Nov 2020

        Everyone getting really touchy if you try to talk about stuff like race and crime. The answer to this is to stop using flaws as evidence of failure or an excuse to judge. Your identity and lifestyle are riddled with "flaws" too, you're probably just much more blind to them.

        11 replies 2 retweets 134 likes
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      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Davide Baroncelli‏ @apprentisorcier 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        It's the kind of social hypothesis that generally gets explored in sci-fi novels (surely there are some about it already).

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jilcaesel‏ @Jilcaesel 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @apprentisorcier @Aella_Girl

        The recent TV series inspired by Brave New World had some of this, with monogamy and privacy treated as social sins. But it was only so-so. @JCareyAuthor's excellent Kushiel series has “love as thou wilt“ as a social norm, but no stigma against monogamy.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Oscka-John‏ @oscka_john 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        Aldous Huxley was ahead of his time in wrighting "Brave New World" - tis a shame that people always flock to 1984 instead...

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Max Headroom‏ @Max69235 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @oscka_john @Aella_Girl

        Yes, sir! People think 1984 was about the future when it was actually about Stalinism. Brave New World, from 1931, was about the future. @zeynep argues Huxley is the only mythology that touches 21st century problems - and I agree with her. Nice!

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Max Headroom‏ @Max69235 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        Aella, have you hard of http://Tinyletter.com ? I think your longer texts would look nice there, also.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Allan Steiner‏ @allansteiner 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        This is exactly why I’ve started focusing on using terms like “ethical relationship styles” as a broad category rather than “polyamorous” or “nonmonogamy” — Relationships are about agreements, not defaults. I wonder if there’s an corollary to the other issues you’re describing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
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      1. Lokinomics‏ @lokinomics 8 Nov 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        See early on in Star Trek TOS, "Wolf in the Fold."pic.twitter.com/CZWxJIOowe

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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