Conversation

When I was growing up as a fundamentalist Christian, we were taught that the secular hated us, that they were persecuting us, that we would speak the truth and they'd figuratively spit in our faces. We were at constant odds with larger society, and this was viewed as good. 1/

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Oct 29, 2020

My family had this particularly hard - my dad was a public figure Christian apologist, and as such he (and by some extension the rest of us) were thrust hard into this antagonism. I protested things alongside him, debated people as he did. 2/

Aella

@Aella_Girl

Oct 29, 2020

He had a radio show, wrote books, ran one of the biggest Christian defense websites on the internet. I remember him getting death threats from people; someone sent him pictures of mutilated children and told him that's what they'd do to his family. My family has been swatted. 3/

Aella

@Aella_Girl

I was raised in this heavily antagonistic environment as a default, and I think for me this is 'normal.' Having the world think you're wrong is just the water I've been swimming in since birth. And I've left Christianity, but I have a really deep belief in my body that 4/

6:20 PM · Oct 29, 2020

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being hated is okay, you'll still be safe if the world hates you, that you can still function and have a family and a house and eat food. And so I think this is partially why I feel more inclined to think about the things society reacts harshly to, and less afraid to say them. 5/

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Oct 29, 2020

And obviously it's not always great, seeing your twitter notifications fill up with thousands of people telling you you should die you piece of shit is not a fun experience 2/10 do not recommend, but I feel well equipped to handle it, at least relative to most people.

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Also IFB and others. Realizing how much of our actions and words were geared towards provoking and inviting that reaction, and not the actual truth or belief, was a shelf moment for me.

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When I left the church, I realized that what the world actually thought about the church was much different, and we didn't have as huge of an impact on evangelizing the world as we thought. It took a great while to adjust my deep assumptions about people, however.